Have you not read the stories of people trying to come out, explaining to their parents what being trans is, the parents google ‘transgender’ and find this ridiculous bullshit? Because it’s happened.
this. i’ve been out for 5 years but my mom was doing more research on what being trans is a little while ago so she could understand me better and unfortunately came across a link with the pronouns and countless gender labels
it was embarrassing as fuck and i had to explain to her that i wasn’t going to end up identifying as a poly genderqueer demigirl or ask her to call me bun or fae and that wanting to transition is solely for my wellbeing and she said it was going to be hard to take me seriously for a long time because of what she saw
Blaming other trans people for a cis person’s refusal to take you seriously is not only not fair to those other trans people, it’s not fair to you.
Don’t you deserve more accountability from the people in your life? Don’t you deserve more than allowing them to fob off their (hopefully temporary) unwillingness to take in what you’re telling them about yourself and your life onto someone else?
Because that is their choice. Their reaction. Blame them and no one else. As long as your mother can blame her refusal to deal with you on whatever wacky thing she saw on the internet… well, if it wasn’t the internet, maybe it would be day time TV. Maybe it would be Silence of the Lambs.
It would be something, though. I guarantee you that.
A cis person saying that they can’t take a trans person seriously because people with weird pronouns exist is the equivalent of a straight person saying they can’t take gay people seriously because of what they saw at the Folsom Street Fair.
What they really mean is they choose not to take us seriously, and this is the most handy excuse at the moment.
If we could get rid of the most “extreme” or “ridiculous” example of trans-identified people on the internet, the person who doesn’t want to take us seriously would just use the next most extreme example remaining as their alibi.
Get rid of everyone who’s more “out there” than you are, and you will be the excuse. If there was no one whose gender expression was sillier or more incomprehensible to your mother than yours, she’d be stuck with the truth, which is that taking you seriously makes her uncomfortable.
The “fringe culture” of any marginalized group will always be the alibi used to ignore or attack the mainstream, but here’s the thing we all need to realize: it’s not a particular fringe that’s the target, just whatever is the most outre layer at the moment. The idea that sacrificing the fringe is a successful defensive tactic is like the idea that when an army is camped out on your borders, you can protect yourself by giving up your borders.
The army’s still there on your new borders. Its goals are still the same. All you’ve done is let them get that much closer to your heartland.
Furthermore, back when the “cute” pronouns started to trend I remember thinking that most of the people I saw seriously playing with them were young NB kids whose loved ones had already given them the very clear message that their chosen pronouns would not be respected? These didn’t come out of “oh, well what can I do to get people to take me less seriously?” but out of “they aren’t taking me seriously to start with so what do I have to lose?”
Chances are anyone that you want to attack for using pronouns that you don’t think anyone will take seriously has already tried out one or more of the “accepted” nonbinary pronouns - epicene they, spivak, xe/xem/xyr, thon, and so on - and not had that accepted at all. If there’s an element of mockery in a kid choosing cute pronouns for bunself, it’s mockery of the authority figures who rejected bun when bun called bunself they, not mockery of buns friends who may be xe or ey or he or she.